It’s Christmas morning and I’m sitting at an empty gate at the airport watching the sun climb over the horizon. “O Come Emmanuel” plays softly in my earbuds. The sun heralded her arrival long before she rose into the clear, cloudless sky. The darkness of the night was close and comforting like a mother swaddling … Continue reading Glad tidings of great joy
I have battery operated candles in my bedroom that, for the most part, look like real candles. They emit a soft flickering light but they won't burn down my apartment when I inevitably leave them on all day. They are some of my favorite things in my room. The way their light gently cuts through … Continue reading Dawn will break
There is nothing inherently magical about the 1st day of October. I don't anxiously await its arrival as the beginning of "spooky season" and in fact, some years it passes by with my barely noticing. This year, however, as I sat in my bed reading and writing and preparing for next week's classes I realized … Continue reading October 1
It’s the eve of my first day of seminary at Duke Divinity and I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I never, ever thought I would be here: beginning an MDiv and in the midst of the (long) ordination process. So many people believed in me long before I did. So … Continue reading Stupidly stubborn hope
The tattoo on my arm is still new enough that it looks a little like a snake preparing to shed its skin. The Hebrew letters are still raised, scabbed layers of flesh. I find myself running my finger over these letters absentmindedly, reminding myself what the words mean and what they mean to me. “So … Continue reading El-roi
I’ve tried to assign words like “good” or “bad” or “hard” to the whole of the past year, but everything feels insufficient. There is no one word to describe the entire year, because while there were truly horrible moments, there were moments of kindness, goodness, love, care, and happiness that bring the whole year into … Continue reading A Year in Review…kinda
Disclaimer: If this does not resonate with you or you feel it hits a bruise for you, this is a friendly reminder that you do not have to engage with it. When I came back to children's ministry a little over 2 years ago, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I … Continue reading Deconstruction Chronicles Pt. 1
September 29, 2021I moved to Florida two years ago today. While I could write a whole blog on why that makes me happy and what I'm grateful for, that isn't what this is. I miss the hardwood floors and arched entryway of my Marquita Ave. apartment. I miss walking to Snuffers for cheese fries and … Continue reading September 29
Evangelicals get a bad rap. And for good reason. Any system that doesn't make space for questions or that actively excludes others is not a system to be celebrated, but dismantled. Six years ago I had a breakdown. It had been coming for a long, long time. I kept ignoring it, shoving it into the … Continue reading Six years ago
I woke up this Good Friday thinking about Judas Iscariot. Judas, the trusted money keeper who would betray the Son of God. Betrayal. It's an easy and natural response for me to disdain Judas, to clutch my pearls and exclaim "Well, I never!" as if I have not been both the betrayer and the betrayed … Continue reading The Betrayer and the Beloved
It's been a minute. The past 6 months have been...weird. There were moments, a lot of moments, that were simply bad. For a while it felt as though every single day was an extension of the day before -- fraught with loneliness, doubt, anger, fear, and deep sadness. It felt as though my whole world … Continue reading Kaleidoscope
I moved to Dallas as a sophomore in college. After college, I stayed for graduate school. And after graduate school, I stayed because I didn't want to leave. I bounced around various suburbs of Dallas before finally feeling settled in my East Dallas neighborhood. I loved everything about Dallas there. The hardwood floors of my … Continue reading An act of God
“Fully grieve your losses and also, let yourself feel the full weight of your joys."Morgan Harper Nichols It comes in waves, ya know? The grief, then the joy, then the sadness again. I had only been in Florida for 6 months before life came to a sudden stop. Life has stopped and, yet, keeps grinding … Continue reading Full
The first Sunday of every month, my church celebrates communion. Of all the sacraments that we celebrate, communion is my favorite. I was an evangelical for many, many years and part of that culture is this adherence to certain rules as it relates to worship or Christian life. Communion was not an exception. We believed … Continue reading Radical Hospitality
The Messy Faithful 