A few years ago, while I was still in graduate school, I began to pray specifically for one situation in my life. I had a desire so deep in my bones I thought my heart would explode. I couldn’t shake it, I couldn’t explain it, and it came completely out of left field. This thing I was praying for seemed utterly impossible. And, truthfully, it was — by any human standards. It was certainly out of my control. I had never prayed big things for myself, ever, so this was uncharted territory. I had huge doubts, but I also had nothing to lose, so I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more. I got angry. I was sad. I was happy. I was hopeful and doubtful. I was like the sun and rain together. A hot mess of emotions and feelings. But one thing I always knew was that it was going to work out. It took a while, but my God is faithful. It wasn’t a straight road, but my God is true. And two years after I began praying for Big Springs, I was able to serve on their staff. 

Last week, I had this familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. A clearer picture than the last time. A stronger desire, and an even more insurmountable obstacle than before. Last time, even though I prayed fervently, I prayed angrily. Demanding responses to my feeble-minded questions, and sinking in doubt when the answer was a resounding, “WAIT!. . .Be cool. . .Hold it. . .I’m working! . . .” This time, I have few doubts. So this time, I’m upping the ante. This time, I’m daring God to move in such a fantastic way that no one would doubt it was because of Him and for His glory alone. Not many days following my revelation, our pastor preached a sermon on praying specifically. Oh. I’m praying specifically because one thing I’ve learned about the nature of God is, He will so far exceed our expectations if we let Him. 

I can’t wait.