Last week, I found a huge stack of papers from graduate school. I read through a few of them before I remembered I had a task to do (clean out my closet). First of all, let me just get this out of the way now, why would ANYone use Turabian? It’s really quite ridiculous and I never got it right in all two and a half years of grad school. . .but I digress. 

My grad degree was in ministry, which means my papers were mostly centered on very personal aspects of life — my spiritual life. Or God. Or the salvation of Jesus. One particular paper I stumbled upon grieved my heart. Not because of the grade I received (it was a good one), and not because of how I wrote (not too shabby). But because of the girl who wrote it is such a far cry from the girl who writes this today. That girl spoke confidently about a deep faith in an unshakeable God. She wrote at length of the deep grace and mercy of a loving God she so clearly recognized. She claimed the power of Christ over her heart so that nothing could shake it. 

It was only after I read that that I realized I’m not the same girl, anymore. To my shame, that girl is hidden under a few years of struggles and “unfairness” of life. That girl became quickly burdened by life outside of school, outside the shelter of community of likeminded peers, and outside the textbook answers. 

That girl is merely hidden, not forgotten or deserted. Reading her words gives this girl a sense of renewal. A sense of hope of finding the balance of life. 

Peace be the journey.