I’ve held several different ministry positions since beginning college at Dallas Baptist University in the fall of 2006. All with children — various ages — but all “dependents” and “minors”.

I started school 10 years ago at DBU solely because I felt a calling on my life to be involved in the ministry — specifically with children. There have only been a few months in the past ten years where I was not serving a church in some capacity. I completed a Master’s degree in Children’s Ministry (barely, but I did it.) I stepped away from it very purposefully last year, but it still has my heart.

My idea of ministry today is so different from what it was even a year ago, but especially 10 years ago. What follows is a debrief of what I’ve learned. Hopefully someday, I will have the chance to do face-to-face kids’ ministry again, but until then. . .

I  went into the ministry because I love children. I love almost everything about them. I went into the ministry so I could  be WITH them.

What I found when I got to ministry is that in children’s ministry, you’re rarely WITH them. You’re working on their behalf, but rarely are you standing shoulder to shoulder with them. What I’ve learned is that you cannot take for granted the relationships with their parents. At all. They are inviting you into their lives for this season to love their children and (most) expect them to be loved deeply and unconditionally.

In that same vein, you absolutely cannot labor alone. You have to have volunteers to carry out your vision. It is your utmost duty to protect them and your relationship with them. It is your utmost duty to do everything in your power to advocate for them, and to fight for them, and to help them serve in their best possible way. Because when your volunteers succeed, you and your ministry succeeds. Period.

Almost everything I’ve learned about love so far, I’ve learned through children. How they love so BIG without any reason to whatsoever. How they offer grace so easily. I’ve also learned that love means boundaries. Saying “no” when it’s needed. Redirecting. Gently disciplining. Loving children means I care about their present as well as their future. Caring about their present means protecting them physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

While in graduate school, I became passionate about how material is presented. Or what we allow them to experience or how we introduce material to them. Today’s church world seems to be inundated with ill-advised programs, curriculum, music, and overall fundamentals. I believe that as one in ministry to children (or students), we have a moral obligation to provide our children and students with the best we can offer. We need to learn how they learn so we can teach so they’re able to understand. We need to have the highest standards of everything we do. Obviously, there is grace and sometimes we use what we have. However, I firmly believe that we should be constantly striving to be better leaders. We should never get in the habit of offering less than our best and our best should always be better than it was before.

As long as there are groups of people, there will be people who don’t quite fit in — for whatever reason. Sometimes, I’ve found that these are the hardest ones to love fully and without condition. Maybe we like different things. Maybe they have a hard time relating to other people. Maybe their behavior is not always what it should be. Maybe they distract and annoy the whole group. These are usually the ones that need to know they are loved more than anyone else. In ministry, it’s not my job to be choosey. It’s my job to love fiercely. (aside: This is also why it’s really great to not labor alone). Sometimes, you just don’t connect with everyone. And that’s OK. But everyone is still worthy of love and belonging. It’s always good to have some extra hands and hearts to reach out to those you might miss.

I’m not always good. I play favorites because it’s easy. I don’t trust volunteers with my vision because they might mess it up. My best is hardly ever that good because I procrastinated. I don’t always set boundaries because I want kids to like me and think I’m fun. I’m not always good because it gets hard. And I don’t want to “fail”.
But, it *is* hard. And I might “fail”. . .but it is always worth the try.

 

Peace be the journey.