In darkness, there is fear. Not of the dark but of the unknown. A fear of what is lurking in the darkness. I stood on the stage, engulfed in the light. Only me and the story I had to tell. A story of being terrified and showing up anyway. A story that honors the courage … Continue reading The darkness does not overcome it.
life
The path
The past few months have felt like I've been running behind someone who's running too fast for me but has such a firm grip on my hand that I can't help but try to run with them. I can't see where they're going or what obstacles lay before them, and I can't break away from … Continue reading The path
It all falls down
I remember writing, at some point, that I've felt like a fraud. That I've been masquerading behind a façade and pretending to be something I wasn't. Most well intentioned advice or Christian counsel assumed it was a heart issue. "Just pray" ... Even my prayers felt fake. I was a fraud! I didn't even want … Continue reading It all falls down
Ice cream, SnapChat, and grace.
"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us." -- Anne Lamott Grace. That is the only word I can use to describe the past 5 days. Grace that continually met me where I was and … Continue reading Ice cream, SnapChat, and grace.
For all will be well: a follow up.
A month ago I wrote a blog asking questions about my future. (You can read it here.) I've been running around in a what felt like a haze of confusion for several months. . .ok, years. . .doubting my call to the ministry. I've tried leaving the ministry and was pulled back in. I've tried … Continue reading For all will be well: a follow up.
Fear not! For all will be well.
Six months ago I said yes to a pretty cool job opportunity at my church. I'm able to do what I love to do alongside people I genuinely love and care about. It started out pretty rough and I cried lots of tears over the course of two months. I agonized with a friend over … Continue reading Fear not! For all will be well.
“Simply put: love does”
She didn't hesitate as she spoke, but she held her breath as she finished. Her words trailed off in a sort of scared silence. I wasn't looking at her, but I knew the look on her face. It was the look of one who had just said something risky without knowing how it was received. … Continue reading “Simply put: love does”
Still I rise
Just like moons and like suns with certainty of tides, just like hopes springing high. Still I rise The tattoo on my left arm is a constant reminder of this poem by Maya Angelou (you can read the whole thing here). I decided to get this tattoo on my 30th birthday because those words "still … Continue reading Still I rise
Muddy shoes and choir robes
I stood in the chancel of our sanctuary wearing muddy sneakers on Sunday. (and for those of you who will say "no one noticed or cared!", you've obviously never worked in a church. Someone will always notice. Once several years ago, I got the evil eye from a pianist during the service because I had … Continue reading Muddy shoes and choir robes
Holding the mirror
"I'm sensing some animosity. I HELPED YOU TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND!", she said it with a smirk, but there was some truth behind it. In my defense, I wasn't trying to be animus. I was just trying to be snarky, in a funny, acerbic way. No doubt there were people who stood by me in … Continue reading Holding the mirror
The Messy Faithful 