It’s the eve of my first day of seminary at Duke Divinity and I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I never, ever thought I would be here: beginning an MDiv and in the midst of the (long) ordination process.

So many people believed in me long before I did. So many people were not surprised by any of this. I was, but they weren’t. I approached each step in this process with petulance, assuming that when it didn’t work, I could say “I told you so!”. Except, I’ve instead had people say (implicitly or explicitly) “See?? I told YOU so!”. This season, this upcoming pilgrimage, is the result of a hard won fight. A breaking down and a rebuilding. Holding on to slivers of hope because there was nothing else to hold on to. A stupidly stubborn hope that others held for me when I couldn’t hold on to it anymore.

This season, this brand new beginning, is an incredible gift. I’m standing on the shoulders of so many people who have loved me up and rounded me out and I am deeply grateful.